Hilarious Text Messages

Welcome to Hilarious Text Messages the webpage that brings you a host of funny phrases, sayings, one liners and messages about love, romance, relationships, friendships, stupidity and life in general. These are all free for you to use for non commercial purpose

You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, you've got class, you've got the face & you've got the body... and Ive got the wrong number!

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I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

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A train is about 2 crash!
A frantic virgin strips off & says "can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?"
So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

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A closed mouth gathers no feet!

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Police are lookin for a suspect whos smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous- they've already eliminated you from the enquiry.
Where do you think I should hide?

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I once sniffed Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils...

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Judge:Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?
Jack:Your honour,it’s easier to shoot a woman once,than shooting one man every week.

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Those innocent eyes…Those kissable lips…A great smile…The perfect walk…Smoothest talk…Absolutely gorgeous looks..
That’s enough about me-
How are you?

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A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home."
I went over. Nobody was home.

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quotations 4 occasions