Funniest Text Messages

Welcome to Funniest Text Messages, the webpage that brings you a host of sweet, cute, funny and sometimes insulting text messages. These are all free for you to use for non commercial purpose












What's common between the sun & women's underwear?
a) Both are hot
b) Both look better while going down
c) Both disappear by night.

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A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all..

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Why can't you accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

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Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done.

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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

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I tried to call you from a payphone last night. I put my doner card in by mistake, It cost me an arm and a leg!

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The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

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A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly. Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

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You never know what real happiness is until you get married, and then it is too late.

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I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

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Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?

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I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

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Can't believe after all the shit theyve bin throu they're still together
.
who?
.
your bum cheeks!

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I saw sumthing in da shop window today.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed to buy it for you till I realised it was my own REFLECTION

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You - cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar

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